Forest Grove Police Log excerpt, 12 December 2018

The selection from the log of local police activity this week includes two stories. Both for amusement, but of different varieties.

Nov. 30• A caller reported that he caught a man wearing excessively low-hanging trousers trying to break into his pickup. The suspect attempted to flee on foot, losing a shoe and dropping items as he ran. Officers searched the area and found a man without shoes and an exposed backside walking along Main Street. The man unconvincingly advised his shoes were taken in a mugging, but the witness was able to positively identify the man. He was arrested.
• Police were advised that a large heifer was grazing on the sidewalk on the edge of town. Officers were unable to locate any cows in the area.

Normally I select items that cause me to wonder why the police were called. But in both of these cases I fully understand calling the police. At least assuming the second story was reported in good faith. What I do not understand is the thief attempting to claim his shoes were stolen from him. Who goes around stealing the shoes off of someone's feet?