Forest Grove Police Log excerpt, 20 February 2019

The selection from the log of local police activity brings us a tale straight out of the tin foil hat brigade.

February 9

• A man called police to report the Vatican hacked his intellectual property as evidenced by his failed Internet connection. Officers were able to convince the man that the Papacy was most likely not involved.

I haven't met many conspiracy believers who would be easy to convince that their preferred conspiracy, or really any they actually believed in, was not true. Either these officers have the patience of saints, or this guy was appeasing them. I don't know which though.