This week's excerpt from the log of local police activity:
Sept. 2I am unsure why this individual would contact the police in the first place, if he was sure that divine agency would address the issue for him. However, it is nice to know that the police offered to do something for him.
- A man contacted police to report that shoe sizes in his apartment were being switched, new food being replaced with spoiled food, and that he struggled with occasional digestive issues. He then declined police service with the confidence that divine authority would soon take care of the responsible parties.
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